A Cracked Pot

A Cracked Pot
by Deana Tareshawty

Sat Chit Ananda Guru Ki Jay

In a recent program, Kedarji shared the story of the cracked water pot.

“A water bearer had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For two years, this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. ‘I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.’

The bearer asked, ‘Why? What are you ashamed of?’

The pot replied, ‘For these past two years I am only able to deliver half of my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you don’t get full value for your efforts.’

The water bearer felt sorry for the cracked pot, and in his compassion, he said, ‘As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.’

As they went up the hill, the cracked pot took notice of the beautiful wildflowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it somewhat. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, ‘Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.’”

My Half Empty Pot

As I listened to this story, I contracted and became sad. Like clockwork, the ego idea by way of my mind, focused on all the ways I am like this cracked pot. My old habit of being a glass half empty gal was surfacing. Here we go again! For some time now I have been working on increasing my experience of Joy as I go about my day, to be conscious about expressing and imbibing gratitude to break this habit. And now, I started judging my flaws and only seeing my limiting beliefs and karmic habits.  Thinking about these flaws created more ways to focus on my misery. I was on my way down a rabbit hole because I was starting to embody the emotions rising within me.

This story stayed in my awareness for days and I contemplated its significance in my Sadhana. This led me to recall how my life was before I met my Guru, and how having a Guru has improved my life. I now have more inner strength and my understandings have shifted, allowing me to use the presentation of a flaw to gain awareness and transform my life. It reminded me of what Supreme Love is in the Guru-Disciple relationship, much like the water barer was to the cracked pot.

Emotions Drive Thoughts

A point that came up in contemplating this story had to do with reminding me that emotions can be a driver of thoughts. That truth was clear as I recalled how I became sad, identified with being flawed, and then allowed the mind to wander into the familiar thought pattens of the ego idea, keeping me in the feelings of sadness, which then continued to produce more contracted thoughts.

So this experience unfolded to bring my awareness to paying more attention to the pull of emotional components when I interact with people, places and things, and to remember God exists in my feelings, so that I can avoid emotional slavery. This was a needed reminder for me. At times, I still get stuck here. I am attached to the pain and the high of riding emotions.

Before meeting Kedarji, my emotions ruled my thoughts and dictated my actions.  Once I was made aware of this through the Shaktipat Kriya process in Sadhana, I was happy at knowing this was an obstacle so I can begin taking measures to address it.

But then, when I was still emotionally reactive, I came to loathe this tendency about myself. After an emotional blow up, or taking action based on emotion, all the joy I felt in knowing this obstacle shifted to regret, guilt and shame. I was very hard on myself for this shortcoming.

I didn’t have a constant remembering that these karmic habits were very deeply engrained and would take time and patience to recognize and overcome. And so I kept going back and forth in Sadhana with remembering and forgetting, with the thoughts I held as a driving force.

Beauty in Imperfection

Over the years in Sadhana, I’ve come to understand that the beauty of my cracked pot is that my Guru uses this to show me where a weakness is. I need his vision, that only sees the greatness in me, and his leadership as an outside agent, to help me recognize these habits so that I can rise above them and let go of my perceptions of being a limited individual.

The self-knowledge that is revealed in this process is the key to ultimate healing, but I also must be looking for the weakness and practice rising above its influence, in the moment, using the methods offered to me.

One instruction we have been given is to use all contact with people, places and things to experience the Joy of the Self. Also important to remember is that in the engaging of activity, God exists in our feelings. Emotions are a tool to be used to have that experience and to also enforce a boundary or make a point, in a way that our inner state is not impacted. Then, the inner state of joy is never shifted.

For example, recently my husband made a comment to me that I perceived as hurtful. Out of habit, I would normally get very emotional, most likely start to cry, and then internalize all my hurt. I would have lots of mental dialogue but never outwardly communicate my feelings and boundaries. If I communicated at all it was never from a place of calm and clarity.

But in this instance, I caught the interaction just before I reached for my old pattern.  I applied what I have been instructed in and it changed my experience.

He was implying that I didn’t have what it takes to get involved in the commercial rental aspect of our family business. For a few minutes I let the comment land. I didn’t respond. And then I performed my 3 step dharana and recalled the form of my Guru. From this place of peace, I was not emotionally reactive at all. I just started asking him questions to understand where he was coming from. I asked, how do you know I don’t have what it takes? Isn’t this a skill that can be learned? If it can be learned, why can’t I do it?

The conversation evolved into a discussion where I understood his own challenges in a new area of business and his feeling of needing to protect me from failing at it if I tried. I was then able to express my feelings of hurt from a place of inner peace. I made my point without impacting my inner state. In that moment I was grateful.  What I used to be ashamed of in getting emotional and expressing emotion was replaced with Joy. I see the beauty in my cracked pot. I am capable of expressing and extending love in all its forms using emotions wisely and divinely, in the indescribable Joy of the Self.

Deana Tareshawty performs her selfless service as Vice President of our public charity, The Bhakta School, in addition to serving as a program leader and harmonium player. She also serves on our Board of Directors. Additionally, she holds a Bachelor of Arts in Communications and a double minor in Biology and Chemistry. She is a certified Ecology of Well-Being practitioner and the owner of Inspired Wholeness. She is also a trained Reiki Master in Usui Reiki.